Monday, March 7, 2011

Pain, Suffering, and Brownies.

Normally, those three words would NEVER be in the same sentence (atleast in my vocabulary), except for the fact that I baked an entire pan of brownies yesterday...and the pan is now empty.
Now, while normally I am the picture of self-control and self-restraint, I have discovered that brownies really aren't a part of a balanced breakfast...the hard way.
Bad things will happen.
Trust me.
Don't worry, there're PLENTY more delicious, yummy, wonderful breakfast foods you can have.

like a supreme croissant from jack in the box
(hold on a second...i need to wipe the drool off of my keyboard real quick.)


or perhaps a toasted chocolate chip BAGEL or two from panera (so I can go see my lovely roommate/boyfriend Sara [yes, I did say boyfriend, and, to clarify, Sara is neither a boy, nor my boyfriend])

but I digress.

Lesson learned?
Don't let Joan Rivers intimidate you into eating 2 3 brownies before your first cup of coffee.

Pettayyy Peevayy

"What's good?"

I hate it when people ask me "what's good?" what does that even mean????
Like...what do i say to that? Nothin just chillin.'m not doing nothing though.
I'm not "chillin"... I'm actually really busy. But do i say what i'm doing? Should i be like,
"nothin...just buyin a ceramic cow and some bras."
Def not.
Wayyy too clingy.


Please, please, please, for the love of all that is good, and right, and fair and healthy in this world, and more importantly for your well-being, DO NOT under any circumstances try this at home.
Please DO NOT take 4 hunks of refrigerated cookie dough (you know, the kind with 3 different kinds of chocolate chips/chunks in it), shove them into a coffee mug, and microwave them for 43 seconds.
I can guarantee that you will become addicted, and possibly either die from a cookie-dough-induced coma or gain 12.3 pounds*.
(*not necessarily in that order)



the end.

Petsy Peevsy


Neither, neither, nor.

Either, either, or.


Saturday, December 4, 2010


here are just a few of the random-ass things that i have looked at on the internet in the past 4 hours:

a picture of some remote area in Mongolia via Google Maps:

an article about Area 51:

the history of Christmas Island:

an article about Unethical Human Experimentation in the United States:

the origins of the word "hand":

articles about predictions of what the world will be like in the years 2020-2053:

....and the frightening funny thing is that there are at least


more out there floating around.

so go out my friends, and GOOGLE!


Thursday, December 2, 2010

ladies and gentlemen,

may i present to you,
my baby, my love, my darling,
my new boyfriend phone.

who am i kidding?
this little baby is SOO much better than a boyfriend.
for example:
it does stuff for me without asking (updates my fb feed)
it always knows the right thing to say when i ask it a question (it has a google bar)
it will love me until it dies (it has a really long battery life)
i'm the only one it lets in (password protected-booyah!)
...and it will never leave me (because it knows who holds the charger in this relationship)

in conclusion,
i'm in love.

mrs. samsung captivate

Long time no...see?

Last night I almost ran over someone with my car.
Because they were wearing black nowhere near ANY street lights.
I literally didn't see them until they were in my headlights, and I had to swerve to miss them.

I think Soulja Boy says it best at 0:48, but here is my attempt:

dear lovely intelligent residents of [insert apartment complex name here],
that adorable strip of concrete along the side of the road (the SIDEwalk) is not just there for decoration, it is in fact meant for you to walk on so that those of us in cars can use the bigger patch of concrete (the ROAD) to drive on.
this has been a public service announcement.

lil cheesy.