randomosity

here are just a few of the random-ass things that i have looked at on the internet in the past 4 hours:

a picture of some remote area in Mongolia via Google Maps:
http://www.panoramio.com/photo/12190897

an article about Area 51:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Area_51

the history of Christmas Island:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_Island

an article about Unethical Human Experimentation in the United States:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_experimentation_in_the_United_States

the origins of the word "hand":
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?search=hand&searchmode=none

articles about predictions of what the world will be like in the years 2020-2053:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2020

....and the frightening funny thing is that there are at least

20,340,000,000

more out there floating around.

so go out my friends, and GOOGLE!

love,
mccheezyburger

ladies and gentlemen,

may i present to you,
my baby, my love, my darling,
my new boyfriend phone.



who am i kidding?
this little baby is SOO much better than a boyfriend.
for example:
it does stuff for me without asking (updates my fb feed)
it always knows the right thing to say when i ask it a question (it has a google bar)
it will love me until it dies (it has a really long battery life)
i'm the only one it lets in (password protected-booyah!)
...and it will never leave me (because it knows who holds the charger in this relationship)

in conclusion,
i'm in love.

sincerely,
mrs. samsung captivate

Long time no...see?

Last night I almost ran over someone with my car.
Because they were wearing black nowhere near ANY street lights.
And walking IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.
I literally didn't see them until they were in my headlights, and I had to swerve to miss them.
....
......
really???
FTWHAAAAAA?

I think Soulja Boy says it best at 0:48, but here is my attempt:

dear lovely intelligent residents of [insert apartment complex name here],
that adorable strip of concrete along the side of the road (the SIDEwalk) is not just there for decoration, it is in fact meant for you to walk on so that those of us in cars can use the bigger patch of concrete (the ROAD) to drive on.
this has been a public service announcement.

Sincerely,
lil cheesy.

Wanted: New Kitchen with

Oven/stove that doesn't heat up to the temperature of the surface of the sun in 6.8234 seconds.
Kitchen with more than 1 sqft of counter space total.
Refrigerator that doesn't gush leak water.
So that I can very unselfishly make lovely holiday treats for my darling friends (aka i'm too cheap to buy actual stuff for them.lol.) who I love so much.

On the upside, I'm about to get off work!
On the downside, I'll be back here again in less than 24 hours to close for the 3rd-count 'em Friday, Saturday, aaand Sunday-night in a row.
Ilovemyjob.
Ilovemyjob.
Ilovemyjob.
[name that movie!]

And with that, I'm off to close!

My belly is 4 cookies larger,
tha cheesiest

...and a Seckel

that is all.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch."

Guys.
I need to tell you something.
Now, this isn't easy for me to admit, but I think that I have a problem.
Promise you won't hate me?
Promise you won't not read my blog?
Promise you won't hate me?
Do you SWEAR?
Ok...here it is....
I LOVE T.V.
There. I said it.
Hey! I thought you said you wouldn't judge me????
It's a nice escape from my stressful and trying and ever-so-busy life! I love the ridiculousness of it...and it's nice to know that other people think about stupid shit too.
...and now that that's out of the way....
I'm off to watch the following shows:
Family Guy
The Office
30 Rock (was there a new one this week??)
Community
The Housewives of Beverly Hills
The Vampire Diaries
.....
........
....wow.
Umm the length of that list was totally unplanned.Sad.
Oh well.
Couch potato-AWAY!

Cheese o' the Week

No, the clever title of this blog does not refer only to my current singleness relationship status.
I actually do really love CHEESE.
[to be read in a Colonel-Sanders-type accent]
AND SO I DE-CLAYAH THIS TO BE THUH DAY OF THE CHEESE.
I mean,
THUH CHEESE OF THE DAY
I mean,
THUH CHEESE DAY OF THIS HEEUH WEEK
I mean,
THUH WEEK DAY OF THIS HEEUH CHEESE OF THUH WEEK
I mean,
....nevermind.

While I contemplate the meaning of life cheese colonel sanders, take a look at this little BEAUT!
Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present your new best friend......
PROVOLONE!


...and a cheesy (HA!) pick up line:
"Why prov-alone when we can prov-together, baby?"
hahahahahahahaha!!! you'll have to excuse me for a second.
aaanyways.....
seriously guys, this is one of my top 10 faves. it's a creamy semi-hard bovinular (is that a word?) cheese that originated in italy and it makes a MEAN grilled cheese. it is also a delicious addition to homemade mac'n'cheese, an integral part of any respectable storebought italian cheese blend, accompanies ritz crackers well, and makes a yummy crust for a vegetarian quiche.
and that is why i love provolone.
thank you for your time.

and now i'm off to take thousands of meaningless notes, attempt to look like I am interested in the theatrics behind Death of a Salesman, try not to fall asleep, and hold my breath for 90 minutes so that i will be able to do all of the afforementioned tasks without inhaling the RANKNESS that is the axe body-spray ad who sits next to me.
see ya later!

not feelin' like myself lately...

so i'm bringin back my nutcracker '09 hairstyle.
aka grime. aka dirt. aka sweat. aka nobrushwithin10feetofmyhair.
aka. i miss my old life...and i'm trying to relive my hs years through my hair (is that bad?).
it's kind of an abusive relationship. i need help.
well actually all i really need is a brush......but that seems like an unecessary expense when i'm trying to save up to rent a houseboat apartment on the seine (???).
and yet somehow i can find it within myself to purchase a bag of m&ms purely because of their festivity.
i think my priorities are a little off.

well, maybe.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

but they're so cute and minty. aaand now i want to bake cookies.

does the madness ever end???